Digital Soda

How to Find New Music

2006-12-09T20:40:00.000-10:00

I love music. Sometimes I get in the mood to just sit and listen to music and do nothing else. Here are 10 ways to start finding new music if your current playlist is getting old.

1. Look for artists you have no clue about. If you subscribe to Yahoo Music or even just have iTunes installed, you can listen to clips of songs. Pick songs or artists you've never heard of before. Usually within 10 seconds you can decide whether or not you like a song. Sometimes you find songs you never would have known otherwise.

This is how I discovered Vivian Green.

2. Listen to streaming radio stations. Even if the station isn't playing your favorite song every five minutes, if you listen long enough you'll start noticing that there are a couple that you start to like.

I started becoming a Ciara fan this way.

3. Watch videos online. Often if you make a visual connection to a song you'll appreciate the song more. I notice this happens for me with upbeat songs when there's dancing.

The Pussycat Dolls are helped by their videos.

4. Ask your friends what they're listening to. I have a friend from high school who occasionally sends me email messages with nothing but an artist and a song in it. She has different taste than I do, but sometimes he hits one that's good.

I started listening to The Perishers after getting a recommendation this way.

5. Watch American Idol. Everybody's doing it and occasionally there's a song you've never heard before by an artist that you either forgot about or never knew existed.

KT Tunstall became a favorite after a contestant last season sang Black Horse and the Cherry Tree.

6. Ask your parents what they listened to when you growing up. You might recall hating what they listened to when you were a kid. But now you might actually like their old favorites because you've been subliminally hit by the music years ago.

I dig 60's music and R&B because of this.

7. Browse the charts. At billboard.com you can check out the latest charts and even past ones. This is a great way to see what songs your local radio stations AREN'T playing and what you might like. It's also a good way to go back in time and remember songs you used to like, even if they're only good for one more listen before you're sick of it again.

Oh Micky, You're So Fine anybody?

8. Don't watch MTV. There's never any music on there anymore. Check out VH1 in the morning or late at night. Or just watch streaming videos on Yahoo or AOL.

Evanescence was a good find for me this way.

9. Look for soundtracks to your favorite TV shows. TV shows like Grey's Anatomy are starting to put together soundtracks with songs from new artists. Occasionally I hear a song and I'm like, "Where have I heard that before?" Then I realize it was on during a scene in one of my favorite shows.

The Grey's theme song is great -- Cozy in the Rocket by Psapp.

10. Check out the original artists on remakes. Often if you like a remake of a song (sometimes you don't even know it's a remake!) then you might like the original artist too. You might discover a new favorite even if the song isn't a remake but parts are used as hooks in new songs (like the Black Eyed Peas using Lisa Lisa's I Wonder if I Take You Home in Don't Phunk With My Heart).

I recently started listening to Joni Mitchell because of Sarah McLachlan's remake of River.

Do something productive with punitive damages.

2006-04-28T17:45:00.000-10:00

Okay, so this woman just won 1.7 million for being spanked at work. I can't wait for the strippers to line up at law offices and file similar claims.

Part of that verdict included 1.2 million in punitive damages which are designed to punish the company / defendant such that the financial burden will either discourage future problems like this or put the company out of business if serious enough.

I hate the idea that people who file the complaint get their hands on punitive damage awards. I understand the lost wages, emotional distress, etc. But why can't we send punitive damages into a big national pool of funds that can be used to improve our society -- for example, we could pay teachers more.

I did a quick search for punitive damage sums and totals, and the numbers are staggering, even for the "sample" cases drawn from California court system from 1991-2000, the sum of punitive damages for about 460 cases was approximately $6.4 billion dollars.

Now we all know who pays these awards, don't we? It's the consumers who end up paying higher prices for everything so the companies can afford to pay these judgements. So as consumers, why can't we rally against giving this money to the individual plaintiff and instead use it for something good?

Being a Slob is Healthy

2006-03-21T12:28:00.000-10:00

My house is far from spotless. Not like haz-mat dirty, but not shiny. I get sick MUCH less than my friends who are obsessive compulsive about cleaning their homes with chemicals and anti-bacterials. Hmmmmmm.....I'd rather have a dirty counter than be spewing flu vomit 2-3 times a year.

And I might just be onto something...

Yahoo Music Upgrade Blows

2006-03-02T11:17:00.000-10:00

I was just getting used to the somewhat tedious functionality of version 1.0 when they came out with 1.1, which tried to fix some of the illogical things in the previous version. But it's funny, now that the old version is gone, I miss it.

I'm having trouble learning the new playlist and "Now Playing" feature which seems to add an extra step to the "click on a song in your playlist to start playing from that song" desire. So you have to click "Play your playlist" so that all the tracks appear on "Now Playing" and then you have to click on the song from that list. This is stupid.

Also, my connection to songs that I haven't actually downloaded is SLOW as beans sliding down a mountain. The launchcast transitions are bumpy too.

Grrr...

Invented Words : Competitivity and Detailedly

2006-02-28T14:06:00.000-10:00

Okay, sometimes I just can't immediately find the "right" word and I spit out something that is totally NOT a word but whomever I am speaking to knows what I'm talking about. So here are a few that have become part of my creative vocabulary:

Competitivity
Obviously you know what this means. The proper word would be something like competitiveness, but that's just not very much fun. Plus I think my word rolls off the tongue with a little more fun.

Detailedly
I was trying to think of "thoroughly" when I came up with this one, but I like mine better, especially if you scrunch it into three sylables like "DE-TAILD-LY" at which point it becomes almost as much fun to say as "doily."

UPDATE: March 2, 2006. I found out that Competitivity seems to be a popular word amongst European English speakers. But detailedly remains a non-word even though others have coined it before me, namely Chinese english speakers posting questions on message boards like, "Can someone explain this to me detailedly?" At any rate, I registered the domain name detailedly.com so we'll see what happens.

Blog Navigation Frustration

2006-02-27T12:35:00.000-10:00

I don't read my own blog so forgive me for not having the feature I am about to complain about.

But does anyone else find it difficult sometimes to find the link to get to the "Next Page" of blog websites? Take for example the Business Opportunities blog which I read a few times a week. When you get to the bottom of the page, you'd think that you'd want to read the "Next Entries" as if you were paging through a book. But alas you need to click on "Previous Entries..." to get to the next page of articles.

This seems counter-intuitive despite the fact that it does make sense if you look at the blog on a timeline.

But reading blogs is just that...READING. And with most things we read, it's right to left, flip the page. Right to left, flip the page. (Unless you're reading Hebrew.)

Many blogs also hide their "Next" links or "Archive" links and that's frustrating too. I have had this "Navigation Frustration" many times in the last few months since I started reading blogs more frequently.

NBC Sucks

2006-02-23T20:09:00.000-10:00

I've decided NBC Sucks ass. First it can't do anything to save its crappy sitcom situation and now it hacks through another olympics, giving us nothing different than in previous years. Same filler, same crap, same announcers, same crap.

If I hear Dick Button tell me one more time on 11 hour tape delay why someone's inward death spiral is so bad because the chick's ass sticks out too far, I'm going to hit something. The real injustice isn't that Olga Russiankova's hiney protrudes, it's that almost every other country in the first world gets access to live Olympic video and we don't.

Give us live coverage of the Olympics in 2008 or I'll never watch any of your cut rate sitcoms ever again just even to give them a chance.

It's irritating enough to be 5 hours behind the East coast, but it is literally half a day before the event coverage gets broadcast in Hawaii. What's worse is this:

1. Canadian TV is broadcasting live.
2. The closest Canadian city is about 6 hours by plane away from Honolulu.
3. If someone recorded 3 hours of coverage, burned it to DVD, and put it on the next flight out to Honolulu, it would get here approximately 2 hours before it would show up on TV here.

Isn't that ridiculous?

But then again, I'm sure some NBC thugs are at the airport doing secret screenings of people's DVD carry-ons so that none of their precious crappy coverage gets impeded upon by "pirated" copies of ice skating and skiing.

It's insane that in a world where emails fly across the world in nanoseconds that we cannot get video coverage in real time (even when I'd be willing to pay for it.)

Sorry. I really have a gripe about this.

Do you chew along to the music?

2006-02-22T17:10:00.000-10:00

I do.

I just noticed this when listening to a song with an acoustic guitar in the background. While eating dinner I observed my chewing was in sync with the guitar strumming. I wonder how long I've been doing this and never noticed. I guess if I listen to less music, I'll lose that extra weight I've been carrying around.

Planned News

2006-02-22T08:58:00.000-10:00

Is it any coincidence that suddenly Donald Trump and Martha Stewart are having a "war of words" regarding the failure of her Apprentice and dwindling success of his just a week before the debut of his new season? I think not.

It was more than a few months ago that both shows ended and we did hear some things about how Martha's show didn't do that well. I didn't really care then and I don't really care now. But a couple crafty press releases and a letter signed by Donald and suddenly there's this drama again.

So much for the saying that time heals all wounds. I think it's safe to say that many lawsuits, engagements, marriages, and divorces between celebrities are all manufactured simply to get a press release out there. I suppose even publicists need to earn their money sometime.

But it's so disappointing that this fake news ends up hitting the front page of Yahoo under "Top News" stories. Leave me alone Donald.

Google has a Problem Deleting Things

2006-02-20T15:58:00.000-10:00

First it was gmail with it's message deletion feature that would just dump your message in the trash can and leave it there. Now it's Adwords and their "Delete Campaign" feature that's bugging me.

If you decide to "Delete" a campaign, it actually leaves the campaign in th elist and says, "Campaign Deleted." If I wanted it to still be on the list, perhaps, hmmmm, I dunno, maybe I wouldn't have DELETED IT IN THE FIRST PLACE?

They say that you need to be smart to work at Google, which is probably true. But I just don't get this logic. Maybe I'm not smart enough to understand why "deleting" something doesn't actually do so.

I know google changed gmail's trash feature, but not before I paged through 10,000 junk emails and deleted them page by page by page from my inbox and THEN from the trash. Hopefully they'll change this sill feature too.

Live Stream the Olympics

2006-02-20T11:01:00.000-10:00

I have watched about 2 hours of NBC olympic coverage in total over the last week. Normally, I am an Olympic freak. But now it's too easy to get results online even when you are not looking for them. So I don't feel compelled to watch something that I already know about.

NBC offers lame video clips of events that are even more delayed than their primetime coverage. But why is it that almost EVERY country in Europe has live streaming video on the Internet of the Olympics and we get SHAFTED here in the U.S..

I tried just about everything short of getting a broadband account from a Norweigian Internet Service Provider, but I couldn't get around the technology blocking us from opening up the foreign web streams of the olympics.

I turned off my Javascript. Sifted through HTML source to get direct feed links. I've done endless Google searching for workarounds. But nothing.

When is NBC going to pull their heads out of their butts and realize I'd pay $10 for live streaming access to the Olympics just like I'm sure hundreds of thousands of the rest of us would? Hell, I'd pay $19.95.

Stupid News: The Olsen Twins

2006-02-15T13:44:00.000-10:00

One of the "Top News" stories on my Yahoo page just now was how the Olsen twins will wear some lame designer's gowns. First of all, this is no more top news than the fact that I had diarrhea last night after eating too much chocolate.

Second, I really STILL cannot get over how obsessed we are with these celebrities (or how obsessed the media makes us think we are). I hate it when I even spend two seconds thinking about what a celeb is wearing or what they are saying on a talk show. I am getting to the point where I feel ashamed to even glance at the TV anymore.

Lastly, the obvious question is how these anorexic chicks can actually keep a dress on their bodies.

Alternate Government

2006-02-08T15:37:00.000-10:00

Wouldn't it be interesting if there was an alternate government that simulated its own legislative session and used existing laws as a basis for making adjustments in the best interests of this country?

Then at the end of the year, one could do a side-by-side comparison of what was accomplished by each government -- the real one and the fake one.

Naturally you'd have to start all over with a new mess each year, or you could keep the alternate simulation going and see what new problems arise and need to be dealt with once the old ones are solved.

Josh Groban song sounds like Loretta Lynn

2006-02-06T16:14:00.000-10:00

My extremely random music collection played the following two songs back-to-back:

1. Loretta Lynn: Coal Miner's Daughter
2. Josh Groban: You Raise Me Up

The melodies sound very much the same to me.

Does anyone else agree?

Kimberly Stewart: Who the ???

2006-02-05T02:50:00.000-10:00

Clearly we are starting to learn that if you are born of famous egg or sperm, you're an instant celebrity. How unfortunate for us.

I saw a link on Yahoo to join the fun and "Help Pick Kimberly Stewart's Grammy Dress."

Are people really that bored that they click and vote? I mean seriously, what HAS this chick ever done? I can't name a thing. Maybe I'm disconnected, but the only thing I know about her is that she evolved from Rod Stewart's splooge.

So she joins the chain of famous kids with questionable talent, if any: Paris Hilton...Nicole Ritchie...the list goes on. Sometimes I really do wish that California would fall into the ocean.

American Idol Comments

2006-02-01T12:53:00.000-10:00

I think there are few things left in the world that it seems alright to make fun of. One of these is fat people. Simon has made some very direct comments about weight this season, although not specifically to the contestants. After someone large leaves the room he will comment "Do we have a big enough stage?" or "The food bill alone will kill us."

Second to the fat jokes are the ambiguous sexuality jokes. These seem fine to air as well.

I don't know if I am just getting old or what, but I used to think that words are just words -- get over it. I mean, I'm fine with jokes about myself or my disability -- but I can't help but think that permission is granted to society to continue to ridicule overweight people or sexually confused people as long as TV keeps showing it.

But then again, would AI be as funny without them? I can't say I didn't chuckle at these things...but I am a level headed person. I wouldn't say things like that to people. Others would, and that's what's scary about it.

Noise makes me crazy

2006-01-30T09:55:00.000-10:00

There are some contractors outside grinding down the edges of my neighbor's granite counter tops. For those of you who hate the dentist, imagine your teeth getting grinded off.

I don't know why, but noise beyond my control is extremely irritating for me. I sometimes question whether I'm partially autistic or something because literally the thing that agitates me the most is noise.

I remember being a kid and my mom would pound her way though our stash of pots and pans searching endlessly for the right one while the metal clanked and crashed. It seemed like she could never find the right one and sometimes it seemed she was doing it on purpose.

It also bugs me when people bang cupboards in the kitchen or slam drawers. You know precisely the kitchen raping that I am talking about -- when you just can't find the thing you're looking for and suddenly you might as well be playing percussion for Motley Crue.

By far, the most irritating noise is the weed wacker before noon on a weekend. I take that back. A weedwacker ANY TIME is the noise most likely to cause me a heart attack. This noise is precisely the reason I do not and will never keep a gun in the house. It would be just too easy to shoot the thing.

But not all noise is bad to me. If the noise has a rhythmic quality, even if it's something pounding or scraping, as long as it has a semblance of regularity, it doesn't bother me. After a while it seeps into the background.

I tell you, that nothing inspires me more to make a ton of money so I can live smack in the middle of 100 acres of land where the only sound I hear that's beyond my control is the rain falling on my roof.

Does anyone else hate online video/audio news?

2006-01-24T12:38:00.000-10:00

When given the choice between skimming through an online news article or having to launch a media player to view a news story, I always take the skim. The reason I stopped watching the local news here in Hawaii is because it's such a waste of time. They cram 3 minutes of news in a 35 minute mini-series. It's ridiculous.

Translate this to online video clips that are simply visual news articles. Even worse are podcasts, which require you to listen to the whole thing in order to get the point. In the interest of moving on with my life, I'd much rather skim a transcript of these items than sit through the entire presentation. Give me 90% time savings any day.

I catch myself not even bothering with audio/video articles anymore, unless it's attached to a text article I am already interested in. Anybody else?

Transition

2006-01-11T18:28:00.000-10:00

I've felt myself going through this interesting transition since I turned 30. It started even before that when I decided that I wanted to spend my 30th birthday "somewhere else." For those of you that do not live in Hawaii you probably can't comprehend that I decided to leave Honolulu and go to Alaska for 5 days. But that's what I did.

Since then, I've actually done a bunch of different things that have made a major improvement in my life or set up groundwork for better things.

Started Physical Therapy
Finalized the purchase of my Truck (still to be delivered)
Confronted a few of my "Worry Spots" or things that were bugging me about friends and family.
Realized how valuable it can be to "Detach" from negative situations.
Started exercising daily
Gave up on diets and just eat what I want in moderation
Cleaned out my closet
Removed TV from my bedroom
Cancelled cable (even though it still works in one room!)
Subscribed to 4 new magazines that relate to my job.
Started using note cards to manage my goals and tasks.
Started playing the cello again.
Started taking vitamins every day.
Bought things to make life easier
Spent more on Christmas gifts
Created an accountability plan for work tasks
Went to a shrink and started treating ADD.

I've never listed all those things before, but it's actually kind of stunning to see it. I suppose they all became so transparent and integrated into my existence that I don't even pay attention to it anymore.

But the point is, I'm finally acting on things that previously were just passing thoughts. I suppose it would be cliche to say, "Just Do It" but that seems to be what's working for me.

Hilarious Clock

2006-01-09T22:55:00.000-10:00

I saw this today. It made me laugh. This site called Crib Candy (http://www.cribcandy.com) has some really cool stuff that made me regret buying this $300 book case last weekend.

The Neverending Personal Christmas

2006-01-09T22:40:00.000-10:00

I started ordering a bunch of things online just after Christmas and they started arriving one-by-one last week. It's not like I was specifically ordering gifts for myself, rather it just evolved into that after I realized I moved from ordering practical things to ordering clothes.

Needless to say, I started feeling like a Jewish person celebrating Hannukah as the days went on. Here are some of my purchases:

1) A remote control lamp outlet.
2) A pen-size document scanner
3) Night splints for my achilles tendon stretching
4) I teeth grinding guard because I recently started doing that.
5) New baseball caps. My old ones were crusty.
6) 2 new t-shirts because I put my head through a hole in the back of one of my college shirts.

I also ordered a couple gifts for other people and now I decided I need to buy more shorts and pants since all the good clothes are on sale.

Anyhow, if Fedex and UPS don't know this place by now, then all they have to do is look for the pile of cardboard boxes and bagged air.

Bad Luck

2006-01-05T00:52:00.000-10:00

The woman who helps me clean my apartment (and makes my quality of life 2000% better than it would be otherwise) had her car stolen. She said it was a self-proclaimed clunker, but it was her means of transportation.

I think it's such a bummer when that stuff happens, espcially to people who help me out. If only I was made of money, she'd have a new car already.

For now she takes the bus, but hopefully I can help her out with a ride sometime soon.

Fast Recipe: Who needs fresh chicken?

2006-01-04T02:27:00.000-10:00

Ingredients:
1 can of pre-cooked chicken (just like tuna)
1 can of diced and peeled tomatoes
Basil
Garlic
Oregano
Salt
Pepper
Olive Oil

Get the pan hot with Olive Oil, then dump in the chicken. Let it start to get brown on the edges (it's already cooked so this doesn't take long). Then dump in the tomatoes and the seasonings. Let it play with itself for a few minutes, then scoop onto a plate, cover with cheese, and eat.

Who needs fresh chicken?

Life Hack: The Power of Velcro

2006-01-02T20:37:00.000-10:00

Two things I did with Velcro tonight are particularly practical for me.

Problem: The air conditioner in my bedroom blows directly towards my bed. Unless I shield myself with blankets, I freeze. If I turn it off, I boil. I don't want to move my bed because it's in a good spot. I can't move the A/C because it's pretty well lodged in there.

Solution: I took an old pair of shorts that I keep telling myself I'll fix (The button is missing) and cut a strip a couple inches bigger in width and height than the opening from the air conditioner. Then I took a strip of velcro and stuck one side to the shorts, the other to the air conditioner, right above the vent. Now I have an air shield that is much better than the duct tape and cardboard solution I did previously (which failed). Even better is that the shorts were khaki and match the color of the A/C almost perfectly.

Problem: I have a portable Dell DJ Ditty (about the size of a lighter) and these really great Bose headphones that I love. I discovered that it's great to wear the headphones around the house when I'm doing junk work like cleaning, but the long cord from the headphones kept getting in the way when I would put the Ditty in my pocket.

Solultion: I took a short strip of Velcro and stuck it to the flat side of the Ditty. I took the other piece of the velcro and stuck it to the top of the headphone band. Then I stuck the Ditty to the top of the head band and wrapped the cord around it. Everything stays perfectly, even if I do look like an idiot. But I'm just at my house so I can look like an idiot.

2006 Philosophy

2006-01-02T19:09:00.000-10:00

I made a page or two full of resolutions and I know I will at least conquer a few of them. Even if I change my habits in the short term for a while I will still put myself a little bit ahead of where I would have been otherwise. A few of them will take hold, others may not, but at least I can try.

Here are a few:

I will stop worrying about what other people think of me.
I will take action on things much faster than I used to.
I will say what's on my mind if it is tactful and appropriate.
I will play the cello and exercise daily.
I will eat less.

Vent: Some people just don't get it

2005-12-22T19:01:00.000-10:00

I'm at least aware that there are things about myself I'll never completely understand because I will never have a third-person perspective on my own life. Usually I'm pleased when someone points something out to me that I might not have been aware of or knew I was doing but didn't yet internally accept.

To illustrate this, I recently went out with a friend of mine and her mother, who is of Mexican decent. I am someone who really can appreciate cultural differences in a serious and humorous way, so it didn't occur to me that when I would humorously appreciate her mom's Spanish-flavored accent, that it would bother anyone. Simply put, I would repeat some of the words she would say because I thought it was fun to soak up the accent.

When I returned home, I got a call from my friend who was apprehensive about saying anything to me, but told me that in the past her mom had been extremely bothered by people who either made fun of her accent or even just said it was "cute."

A clueless person would instantly have gone on the defensive and have said something like, "But I wasn't doing XYZ, I said ABC, and oh my gosh I can't believe your mom was so offended!" To me, those are the people that just don't get it. They don't get it that every situation is a learning opportunity.

My friend's apprehension in saying something to me indicates that this clueless reaction is an EXPECTED reaction, at least in her world. But my reaction was quite contrary and something almost exactly like, "Oh my gosh, I'm so glad you said something, because I never would have done what I did if I would have known. Now I do." Queue the learning experience.

Instead of reinforcing my actions by defending them, I accepted that even though my intent was never malicious, I was doing something that may have made her mom upset. I made the mental note not to do it again and my friend appreciated my reaction in an almost unexpected way.

I was actually grateful that she pointed it out to me. I thanked her continuously. I even called her the next day to thank her AGAIN. To me it was really important to let her know that THIS IS HOW I WANT TO REACT ALL THE TIME and that she shouldn't have any problem mentioning things to me if I should do something like that again.

Not only do I then open myself up for MORE learning experiences, but I hopefully exemplify a trait that more people should have. (Which I think she has already.)

And then I fret that there are so many cluelessly defensive people out there who turn down an opportunity to learn about how to treat other people, even if it's a selective treatment of that one person. After all, I'm not going to stop my external appreciation of other cultures (humorous or otherwise). I'll just stop doing it around her mom.

Nothing lost, but lots gained.

Opinon: Why telepathy will never be mainstream

2005-12-21T07:54:00.000-10:00

Consider this a little bit of a conspiracy theory. I was watching a cell phone commercial just now where the family in the spot was speaking really quickly to avoid having large cell phone bills. Then it occurred to me, what if the family could just communicate telepathically? Then there'd be no need for the phone at all.

If this were a pending possibility, then the entire telecom industry would probably be shaking in their boots. Granted this sort of communication may require some further scientific marination, but let's think about a couple other areas where a more real scientific possiblity might just be inhibited by big business.

First, the oil industry. Why aren't we driving cars that operate on something other than gas by now? Could it be possible that indeed there IS another more viable and cheaper (if not free) means to operate cars and that means has been quashed by the oil companies?

Second, the drug companies. Does it behoove drug companies to actually cure anything? Or is it better for their bottom line to keep people in a persistent state of chronic illness to perpertuate their revenue streams? If there were simple vaccines to cure everything from cancer to diabetes from childhood, then what would the companies that make current treatments start doing to make money?

I ride the fence as to whether it would be possible to entirely hide such revolutionary discoveries as the cure for cancer or water-powered vehicles. But I suppose that with the Internet and blogging, that at least there are some means to publicize discoveries that could otherwise just "go away." Unless of course the postings get "lost from the server."

Experience: Gnarly Chicken in Lean Cuisine

2005-12-19T10:38:00.000-10:00

If you've ever had a Lean Cuisine you know it's not THAT bad for frozen food. In fact, I find some of the dishes (Chicken with Basil Cream Sauce is great) to be tasty for the amount of calories and cost. Granted sometimes it's just a snack.

This week I tried some of the new varieties, including one of my Chinese favorites, Sweet & Sour chicken.

At first I was pleasantly satisfied. Then I bit into a piece of the chicken and it sprung back at me. You know that quick and harsh reverb you get when there's fat or tendon or something boingy in the meat.

Meal ruined.

I made my way through the other 4 little pieces of chicken just fine, but not without apprehension that I'd get another gnarly bite.

Unfortunately for Stouffers, one piece of grizzly chicken out of the five bits they give you is a 20% grizzly factor. That's not good.

Life Hack: Avoid lines when getting take-out

2005-12-19T10:34:00.000-10:00

If you have ever wanted spontaneous Take-out food but you get to the place and there are long lines at the ordering counter do this simple trick.

Instead of getting out of your car and standing in line to place your order, call in the order (call information to get the number if you need it) and you'll magically have skipped everyone in line.

Then in the 10 minutes you would have waited just to place your order, your food will be prepared and ready for pick-up. Hopefully there's a special pick-up area.

Not only do you save 10 minutes or so, you can chill in your car listening to music instead of standing around a bunch of chumps that weren't quite as smart as you.

Top 10 : 12/12/2005

2005-12-14T06:47:00.000-10:00

R&B makes a comeback!

Run it - Chris Brown
Hung Up - Madonna
Just a Ride - Jem
With You - Jessica Simpson
Shut Up - Black Eyed Peas
I can't Go For That - Hall & Oates (I know...but listen to the beat.)
Wild Night - John Mellencamp
Shine On - Ryan Cabrera
Salt Shaker - Lil Jon and the East Side Boyz

Experience: Medieval Torture Machine

2005-12-08T19:18:00.000-10:00

Okay, this isn't torture at all, but it just looks like it.

I bought this thing because it's possibly the most satisfying exercise I have ever gotten in my life. Prior exercise has involved the following:

1) Being told by 400 lb. Mr. Marks in 4th grade that I wasn't doing sit-ups or push-ups properly enough to pass the "Chicken Fat" unit in gym class. "Bring that chicken fat back to the chicken back, don't be chicken again." Sound familiar? If not, just picture a fat ass with rolls o' plenty couting off exercises. Who the hell thought this guy would be a good Phy Ed teacher?!!?!?

2) Running 5 laps around the soccer field for the Mile Run piece of the Presidential Fitness Test. Such a great message that the President tells you every year that if you can't do a pull-up or the V-sit reach, you're a big failure.

3) Power walking in high school "remedial" gym class. Cut to me and 10 "disturbed" kids in the same class walking OFF CAMPUS under the gym teacher's guidance. She would constantly yell at us to walk 3 miles per hour to keep our heart rates up, only to have us end up at McDonald's where we all bought shakes and burgers.

I'm sure there's more, but you get the picture. I suppose the purpose of physical education wasn't exactly taught very well. But now I get it, especially since I can see some results.

Top 10: 12/5/2005

2005-12-05T22:06:00.000-10:00

R&B is clinging onto my top 10 by a precarious thread with Angie Stone and Joe this week. It used to be my favorite genre, but lately the cliche rap crap is driving me crazy. Into the top 10 this week are two tracks by Jem who I really didn't know anything about until this week. And of course, the Christmas faves start creeping in about this time of year. Again in no particular order:

Just a Ride - Jem
They - Jem
All I Want for Christmas Is you - Mariah Carey
Where the Streets Have No Name - U2
Blurry - Puddle of Mudd
Hung Up - Madonna
Sarah McLachlan - Fallen
More Than A Woman - Angie Stone and Joe
Days Go By - Dirty Vegas
Cosy in the Rocket - Psapp

Opinion: Mobile Media is Overrated

2005-12-04T22:09:00.000-10:00

I've had an iPod for over a year now and I've used it 5 times outside of my house. True, maybe I need to get out more, but frankly when I am out and about I already have radio in the car. It's not like I can listen to music while I'm trying to have a conversation with someone, right?

Move to mobile TV. I can see its application in keeping the kids entertained, but honestly I cannot see myself plugging in for an episode of Desperate Housewives while I'm in the waiting room at the Doctor's office. I mean we all hate the interruption of 3 minute commercial breaks, but you can't convince me it's not MORE irritating to have to STOP my episode of DH so I can go in and talk to the doctor for a half an hour?

It takes concentration to watch TV no matter how much you pretend it doesn't. I can have an episode of Will & Grace playing in my office and try to convince myself that I will watch it, but inevitably I notice the laugh track and then realize I missed the funny part because I wasn't paying attention.

The same goes for mobile TV. You can't watch it while you're jogging or driving, which are the two places where mobile music dominate. If it was that important to have mobile entertainment elsewhere, then wouldn't we at least have mobile music EVERYWHERE by now?

So you can keep your video iPod and I'll keep my $300 because at $60 per use, my music iPod hasn't exactly been worth it either.

Vent: Reverse News

2005-11-30T18:13:00.000-10:00

Every day it's someone different. Or a handful of ones. Or a singular incident that's so horrendous, but just that, singular.

The news media pisses me off eternally, like their mission is to hype and scare us all until we die.

I propose there be a law that requires news stations to announce at the completion of each story, a "Reverse News" footnote that reminds us all how many people did NOT get murdered today or die in a car crash or get killed in Iraq.

Taking from today's headlines, an URGENTly posted story on the Honolulu Star-Bulletin's website strikes panic into all parents' hearts: 12 kids, driver hurt in school bus crash!

The story goes on to talk about how the driver may or may not have been on a cell phone and ran a red light and hit a dump truck.

The closing sentence reads: "Department of Education spokesman Greg Knudsen said parents of the children on the bus were notified of the crash. He said another bus took the children who were not injured back home."

Instead, what it should say is: "Department of Education spokesman Greg Knudsen reminded parents that 181,888 children returned home safely and were not in a bus accident today."

So basically, in hindsight there was a 12/182,000 chance that your Hawaii child got injured in the bus accident today (roughly 1 in 15,000). That's TODAY ONLY. Over the year, say 50 kids are injured on their way home from school. that's 50 / 182,000 * 180 or 1 in 655,000 chance during the year.

Maybe my math is wrong, but who cares. Let's not worry about such rare things!

This guy seems to have it all figured out, and I concur.

Vent: Happy August!

2005-11-29T14:42:00.000-10:00

Today I caught myself rewording an email from "Have a great Christmas" to "Have a great Holiday Season" and it bugged me. Here I am changing the way I interact to potentially (but not statistically) appease someone who might not celebrate Christmas.

A Fox News Report from 2004 says that 96% of Americans celebrate Christmas. But then I remembered a high school teacher of mine who is Jewish that told us how it bothered her when people said "Merry Christmas" and presumed she was Christian.

What's funny is that I think I have learned the lesson about respecting other cultures (my roster of friends looks like a United Colors of Benetton ad for God's sake) yet I really couldn't care less if someone is offended that I just told them to have a nice Christmas. Even if they're Jewish and I didn't know that. I mean the worst thing I just told them was "Have an enjoyable December 25th." After all, it's not like I said, "My, your N*****-colored skin is such a gorgeous shade of brown" to a black person (African American, I know, but I lost my compulsion to say 'African American' after Jay Leno's wife was on TV talking about AFRICANS from AFRICA and her PC brainwashing kicked in and she called them 'African American,' now probably just offending an entire continent of people by calling them 'American.')

Last time I checked, the 'N' word and 'Christmas' were not equally derogatory, nevertheless it's confusing to be told NOT to generalize about stereotypes, but YES we should generalize our holiday pleasantries. What if Christmas was in the middle of August? Would we say an awkward 'Happy Holiday' or would we be forbidden to spread ANY Christmas cheer and say "Happy August" because we might offend 1-in-25 people? But then again, the Jewish 'Tisha B’Av' is in August, although it's not exactly a festive day since it's a fast to lament the descruction of temples. So therefore I guess saying "Happy" anything would still be tactless.)

So where is the line drawn? I heard an African American author say that a white woman asking her how she got her hair in dreadlocks was just one small step away from "Black bitch go get me my dinner." Clearly there's a line somewhere in between those questions and for the sake of humanity, I hope it's not closer to the hair question than the dinner demand.

As a disabled person, I think I gauge the 'line' to be that point where it actually damages me in some tangible shape or form. With this stance, I am not offended by much. Do I think stereotypes exist about disabled people? Yes. Am I offended by them? Not without personal context. Do I do my thing to try and change it? Yes, by doing something about what I have control over -- myself. When I felt I was getting unfairly paid at my job, I quit and started my own business. I didn't sue anybody and I'm probably better for it. This way I actually have to lead a productive life to make my millions and I'm fine with that. And if I inspire a few people along the way because of it, even better. I'd rather inspire someone to start a business than to sue someone.

So back to the Christmas thing. If I know you're Jewish I will respect that and not tell you to have a Merry Christmas. But until you tell me otherwise, I am going to generalize. If you truly respect other cultures besides your own, then being mistaken for someone of another culture shouldn't really bother you. So Jews please don't get upset with me for saying "Merry Christmas" because that just means you're insulted by my culture and that offends me. :)

Music Top 10: 11/28/2005

2005-11-29T01:38:00.000-10:00

In no particular order, these are the top ten on my current favorite playlist:

Cosy In The Rocket by Psapp
Gone by Kelly Clarkson
Days Go By (Acoustic Version) by Dirty Vegas
More Than A Woman (Radio Edit) by Angie Stone/Joe
Tell Me Something Good by Rufus
Fallen by Sarah Mclachlan
Wish I Didn't Miss You by Angie Stone
Hung Up (Radio Version) by Madonna
Blurry by Puddle of Mudd
Where The Streets Have No Name by U2
Goodnight And Go by Imogen Heap

Experience: Potato-free Thanksgiving

2005-11-26T16:48:00.000-10:00

Picture it: Thanksgiving Dinner.

There's a giant gravy boat with bits and pieces of juicy turky speckled throughout and it's sitting in front of me. My how that gravy will hold up in the ridges and valleys of potatoes I am about to eat.

The food is brought out. Apparently the potatoes are awaiting their grand entrance.

The processional stops.

There are no potatoes.

I refuse to waste that gravy on rice. RICE? Yes, there's rice.

I feel sorry for Chinese people.

Vent: Anti-Tobacco from Tobacco Companies Makes No Sense

2005-10-26T00:57:00.000-10:00

Is it just me or is it weird to see a “Quit Smoking” television ad that’s been paid for by Philip Morris?

Weirder still is that this is actually acceptable punishment for the tobacco lawsuit settlements. “Okay, you can keep selling your cancer causing goods, just as long as you try to convince people to quit!”

Lame.

Would this happen with something like faulty tires? Imagine Firestone with an advertisement that basically says, “Stop driving on our unsafe tires” but they’re still allowed to sell them.

Or better yet, if Sony advertised, “Stop using our PSP because it might burn your house down” but you could go buy it on sale at Best Buy the next day.

It wouldn’t happen with an unsafe non-consumable product, but yet we let them continue selling something that actually goes into your body.

Vent: Seedless False Advertising

2005-10-24T21:53:00.000-10:00

Calling it “Seedless Watermelon” is such blatant false advertising.

So I get these little mini-watermelons, you know, watermelon engineered specifically for lonely single people. The label said “Seedless Watermelon.”

I cut it open and I see those little annoying white “seed-like” things that must NOT be seeds because the label said this melon had none.

But they look like seeds, they taste like seeds.
They’re seeds.

Opinion: Put Wheelchair Parking Spaces Far Away

2005-10-23T18:45:00.000-10:00

Put Wheelchair Accessible Parking Far Away

Dear Editor,

Today I was waiting for a blue “handicapped” parking space to open up at Costco since I need the extra width to get in/out of the car with my wheelchair. I couldn’t help but wonder, “Is it just me or are these ‘Person with a Disability’ Parking Permits being handed out like Halloween candy?”

According to the Honolulu application for a ‘Person with a Disability’ Parking Permit, the applicant must not be able to walk 200 ft without using assistive devices or stopping to rest. The permit also accounts for respiratory and heart conditions for which extensive walking might cause problems.

Today I saw several groups of people come and go from blue parking spaces with no apparent difficulty at all – most of them unloading carts of bulky items in the process. One guy even hopped up into his elevated pickup truck with no problem.

Even if all of these people have hidden disabilities, let’s be logical for a moment:

You cannot get in/out of Costco without walking at least several hundred feet, if not a quarter-mile, MINIMUM.

If these people can walk that distance, un-aided and without discomfort, then clearly they should not be awarded “Person with a Disability” Parking Permits in the first place. Disability or not, by shopping at Costco without difficulty, then they prove they do not need it.

So here are some suggestions for reducing blue space abuse:

Doctors: Please be more strict when endorsing permit applications and I may not be forced to park in a regular spot next to your Lexus and inadvertently scuff your door with my wheelchair.

Old People: You’re not entitled to these permits simply because you’re old.

Smokers: Please quit now to avoid having to roll with an oxygen tank.

Overweight Folks Unable to Walk 200 ft Without Passing Out: Is shopping at Costco really a good idea?

And those of you who knowingly park in these spaces with borrowed permits (or worse, no permit at all) you know where you can go and what you can do to yourself.

But more importantly, I’d happily park in the far corner of the lot tomorrow if it meant there were wide spaces there, designated for wheelchair users only. After all, I’m on wheels so the distance doesn’t really matter. It’s just the possibility of getting run-over in the parking lot that’s scary.

Oh, and healthy people: Don’t waste time circling a parking lot looking for a close spot. Park in the first place you see, take a walk and appreciate the fact that I’d gladly park in the farthest space tomorrow if I got healthy legs today.

Northern Comfort

2005-10-22T19:49:00.000-10:00

Sleeping until 2:30 is great except when you really have to pee. I should have gotten out of bed at noon because I had to go REAL BAD. But the feeling of someone stomping repeatedly on my bladder with a steel-toed work boot was pleasantly balanced by the warmth of my microfiber down blanket which is, simply put, Heaven’s pillows stitched into soft light-suede-ish loveliness.

Since frankly, I blast the A/C at 62 degrees to simulate the absolute best sleeping weather ever (a.k.a. Any autumn night in Wisconsin, post-October 1 when you wrap yourself in a nice warm blanket all the way up to your neck. You’d cover your head if it didn’t feel like you were suffocating.), the thought of getting out from under the covers seemed more painful than the impending bladder explosion.

So I forced myself back to sleep where as usual I had that dream we all have where you are in the bathroom and you REALLY have to go, but you can’t no matter how hard you try. But I had 2 more hours of exceptional sensory comfort and finally brought myself to get out of bed once the sunlight had sufficiently counter-balanced the chilly air in my room.
One of these days, my blanket lust will result in me peeing in my sleep, I just know it.

Experience: I Had a Break Today

2005-10-21T20:39:00.000-10:00

The only thing that could have made the McDonald’s meal I just had any better would have been me pulling off the $1 Million Monopoly piece.

The fries were perfect. Hot, but not too hot. Crispy, but not tooth-breakingly crispy. Salty, but not such that your lips feel like you just sucked on a salt shaker.

Yeah, they were THAT good and it was worth pulling into a parking space and eating them right then and there like a total loser.

And just when I thought it couldn’t get ANY better, I started in on the Big Mac. Usually I end up with a salad on my lap from all the freaking lettuce that falls out of that sandwich as you eat it. But this time, the lettuce took direction from the fries and did its job just right. Even though the little lettuce lemmings kept leaping from the two-all-beef-patties, they all landed accurately and precisely in the faux cardboard sandwich box, which might as well have had ‘Heaven Inside’ written on it.

Yeah, it was that good.

Experience: From the Ass Up

2005-10-20T19:06:00.000-10:00

Today I looked at the shower curtain rod from a whole new perspective – the floor. I fell on my ass to a knee-crunching accompaniment and since I can’t get up on my own, I had to wait for my business partner to come into work and help me.
So I started singing along to the tunes that I could hear thru the door that were playing on my computer. Everything sounds better in the bathroom – even the Backstreet Boys – but once I realized I was singing “I Want it That Way” I stopped.

Then I noticed the way that everything was angularly different from the floor: the shower curtain rod, the towel rack, the under-lip of the toilet seat (thank God the cleaning lady came only a week ago.) I wished I had a camera. Clearly I don’t cry when I fall since it’s not a big deal. I just notice things.

So when my friend finally got there, he went straight to the washing machine to do a load of laundry and never heard me call out for him from the bathroom. Finally he returned and discovered me (I think the bathroom echoes of “I’m here…I’m here…I’m here…” helped.) Priorities.

He got the neighbor to come over and they lifted me up. Tore something in the knee, but that’s not a big deal. I’ll use it as a good excuse to keep clients off my back tomorrow, but I’ll probably work anyway.